My boyfriend of almost 5 years has a gambling problem that I have a serious problem with… it’s caused us major problems in the past financially, and has gotten progressively worse. We make the the same amount of money, yet, once again, as soon as football season started, he’s not had a dime to contribute to any household expenses, and actually owes me hundreds of dollars at this point, not to mention that I’m having to pay all the bills by myself, which is causing me extreme stress. I’m unable to do anything for myself as a result (including even getting a hair cut, or pay my tuition this semester).
I don’t know what to do. He has a history of having a gambling problem (blackjack), and has sworn off casinos, after losing quite a bit of money (and even stealing money from his work to finance his ‘problem’ - which he considers ‘ok’ because he paid the money back after winning, and it went undetected).
I’m met with lies and extreme hostility when I confront him about this. He SWEARS he’s not doing anything but -30 on the occasional game (which I know for a fact to be untrue - its more like several hundred dollars a week… at least), and he’s betting on multiple games a night.
He keeps promising to repay me, though I have a bad feeling that it’s not going to happen. I’m getting further and further in debt, and I feel so lost.
What should I do? We live together, but I can’t afford to keep this up. And I really have to wonder what all else he’s lying to me about, since he’s so comfortable lying to my face about this. He’s told me that he’s lied in the past because he doesn’t want to ‘be bitched at’. But really… if you’re in a serious relationship, should you be doing things that the other person has such a problem with AT ALL?
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I feel so confused.
And just for the record… mostly for the ass of an individual who suggested that this was a ’sad way of getting attention’… It’s not. This is a development in our relationship that has taken place over the last year and a half, and I was just looking for others who have experienced the same, or similar, situation. And as far as me ‘bitching’, it’s actually more of a concerned conversation that I try to have, and his response is to become angry and hostile. I don’t try to change him. I’m just trying to help someone who has an obviously self-destructive behavior.